Minneapolis … Kansas?

 by Theoharides

As an East Coaster with a proud bias, it came as a bit of a surprise for me to learn that Minneapolis, Minnesota was A. a real place, B. a fun (even hip in a ‘to be square’ kind of way) place, and C. a place I would end up enjoying as much, if not more than (shock of shocks) my home state of Massachusetts. Nevertheless, after a recent Google-based discovery, I remain a bit suspicious of the second Minneapolis. You know; Minneapolis, Kansas: 

Yep... There she be

The state of Kansas eludes me for a number of reasons. I always got the sense it was being mocked in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. I have no idea where to place it on a map. Or why Ar-kansas is pronounced so differently. And then there’s the fact that Kansas City is primarily in Missouri. That just doesn’t happen in Minnesota, let alone on the Least (oops), I mean East Coast. So when I discovered the town of Minneapolis, KS existed, I decided it deserved close scrutiny. 

No, I didn’t actually make the 9 hour-and-21-minute-trip (thank you Google Directions) from Minneapolis to Minneapolis. What kind of unpaid blogger do you take me for? I merely took a wonderful journey on the World Wide Web to a little slice of heaven known as minneapolisksorg.org. What a website! Easy to navigate, straight to the point, with pretty pictures to boot. Minneapolis must be awesome! If you don’t believe me, check out their town mottos (that’s right they have two): ‘A great place to call home’ and ‘Come for a visit … stay for a lifetime’.

Then there’s the pictures. Pretty fall foliage–check. A waterfall cascading onto a frozen river–check plus. Fireworks bursting into the nighttime sky–sounds fun but you’re starting to lose me. Countless piles of rocks–well you had me at pretty fall foliage folks, there’s no need to blow your load on the home page!

        

Now before you depart our beloved Minneapolis tundra for that other Minneapolis, I should warn you of a few things. First; over the past week, the temperature in Minneapolis (which is prominently displayed on the home page) has strayed several degrees above my “sweating in public is not cool” threshold. Eight church locations are listed for a town of roughly 2,000 people. Employment opportunities are limited to G.L. Huyett, a company that produces grease fitting and o-rings; the Ottawa County Health Center, which presumably produces health; and Dak Plastics, a wholesale fiberglass manufacturing facility. It is also a bit disconcerting that on the “City page” there is a photograph of firemen trying to saw through a flipped-over car alongside a photograph of two ambulances rushing off to duty. Finally, I’m a bit turned off by the list of recreation activities, which includes sports, sports, swimming (apparently not considered a sport in Minneapolis), more sports and hunting. That’s right–nothing else is listed. 

Still, when it comes down to it, I must say I’m intrigued by the bright lights and the promise of a town that proudly proclaims that “The future looks great with continued hard work and investment.” Maybe Dorothy really was sad not to be in Kansas anymore. After all, with a  location just south of Nebraska, to the east of Colorado, west of Missouri (give us our city back!), and north of that notoriously great neighbor Oklahoma, could there be a more wonderful place to call home?